Oh my goodness, Elsewhere; you almost let me forget to post a Wednesday Writes today!
Well we didn't get any entries so again, sorry! You'll have to deal with me. This week there were two prompts, but I chose to go with Prompt 2A because I wasn't feeling very creative tonight and I only have an hour to post this puppy! So without further adieu here is my horrible date story. Enjoy!
by Deserae McGlothen
To this day, I've never been on a date. Not a real one, at least. Not one in which both parties acknowledged that their shared outing was more than a trip to the movies with their fifth grade class. But at the moment it felt like one, so give fifth grade me a break, will ya?
My teacher, Mrs. H, had an idea. Anyone who wanted to could go with her to see "Shark Tale" to celebrate her son's birthday. It wasn't a school organized event; it was a birthday party. And everyone in my class was invited including my crush, Tyler Womp-womp.
Yes, yes, Tyler knows I had a crush on him back in the day, and no, his last name isn't Womp-womp. And yes, Tyler liked me, too, BUT! I had somehow gotten it into my head that Ricky's birthday movie outing was an excuse or something for Tyler and I to, you know... go out.
It was stupid, very stupid. And I feel silly even saying it out loud or using accurate(ish) names! But that was what I thought. I convinced myself it was a date. So before Mrs. H even showed up I was getting nervous. And psyching myself out. And working up a headache.
And when I get headaches, I get nauseous. My mom gave me some ginger ale and said she would call and tell Mrs. H I wouldn't be able to make it and that it was okay, there'd be other times... But she didn't know about Tyler! And, well, I'm kind of happy about that because wow. That would've been embarrassing.
Unfortunately, I'm a bit pro at embarrassing myself so when Mrs. H showed up, I put on my brave face, let my mom explain I wasn't feeling well, assured her I'd be fine, and then climbed into the backseat. Selina was already sitting next to Tyler, but I didn't care. He said he was glad to see me, and I played it cool by giving him a "You, too." Mrs. H explained I wasn't feeling well and everyone did their best "Oh, are you alright?"-s. I was! I felt fine, honest! But then we arrived at the theater. And then we got out of the car.
And then he started to walk with me. And I started to get nervous again. And we started talking and laughing about something, I don't remember. And then all I can remember was me saying, "Oh my gosh," before I turned and ran back toward the car, near the bushes we parked next to.
Guys, it was embarrassing. I threw up in some bushes. In front of my crush. And half of my fifth grade class. Mrs. H came to my rescue asking if I was alright. Did I want to go home? And I remember trying not to look mortified as I looked his direction and said, "I actually feel better now!" Because I did. After you puke, it's all sunshine and daisies, you know.
The night went a bit awkwardly from there. Tyler was a perfect gentleman about it and moved past it by picking up our conversation where we left off. And he even put his arm around my shoulders in front of Mrs. H and everyone. I was surprised, but pleasantly so.
And needless to say, things with Tyler and I didn't work out. It didn't move out of the crush-zone and we didn't have a happily ever after. But he was the first boy I ever really liked. The first "date." It might not have been the most pleasant experience of my life, but it wasn't the worst thing in the world, and I look back and think for a bad date, it went rather nicely.
You can find more horrifying first date experiences in:
Robin Mellom's DITCHED
David Nicholl's ONE DAY
Rachel Vail's IF WE KISS
Any others out there that you know and love?